( red stops for a very, very long time when she reads that. it's hard to wrap her head around - both what it means to hear to read that and how hard it is for her to comprehend. this is some kind of concept she's never been able to wrap her head around because it was never her role. and yet some part of her yearned for it even when she buried that part way deep deep down because it was never going to be possible.
she was a guard. she was hades'. she was the intimidating weird whatever-the-fuck she is. she still doesn't know what she is.
she thinks if she'd stayed with the friends she'd made in the end. maybe she would have eventually known what it was like with them - to have a kind of friend thing- a family thing? she's not related to them. not related to anyone, not related to fei, but she still says those words like family can be more than that.
red tugs on a strand of her own hair and presses her knees to her chest, knowing she won't be able to find the words to explain how much it means to her or how hard it is for her to... believe. and why. instead she asks something else. )
no subject
she was a guard. she was hades'. she was the intimidating weird whatever-the-fuck she is. she still doesn't know what she is.
she thinks if she'd stayed with the friends she'd made in the end. maybe she would have eventually known what it was like with them - to have a kind of friend thing- a family thing? she's not related to them. not related to anyone, not related to fei, but she still says those words like family can be more than that.
red tugs on a strand of her own hair and presses her knees to her chest, knowing she won't be able to find the words to explain how much it means to her or how hard it is for her to... believe. and why. instead she asks something else. )
Meimei?