( she doesn't want to lie, but she also doesn't even know how to explain it, and she knows she can't lie about this. what the fuck would she say? she has no idea what any of that is like. she can't just make up shit, and it would feel weird to even try. but how does she say i'm not human. i was a three headed dog made to guard the underworld who got turned into a slightly more palatable version of that for high school death-times. probably just like that, but pfft. that's a lot. )
I don't have one. But not for like sad reasons? ( or well, maybe it's sad, but she's not an orphan like the kids they stayed with were )
I guess I should have just said that I'm complicated.
[ Red doesn't know it, but this isn't the first time she's heard someone that she cares for has no family of their own. Unlike the last time, however, she actually says something supportive, and useful. ]
( red stops for a very, very long time when she reads that. it's hard to wrap her head around - both what it means to hear to read that and how hard it is for her to comprehend. this is some kind of concept she's never been able to wrap her head around because it was never her role. and yet some part of her yearned for it even when she buried that part way deep deep down because it was never going to be possible.
she was a guard. she was hades'. she was the intimidating weird whatever-the-fuck she is. she still doesn't know what she is.
she thinks if she'd stayed with the friends she'd made in the end. maybe she would have eventually known what it was like with them - to have a kind of friend thing- a family thing? she's not related to them. not related to anyone, not related to fei, but she still says those words like family can be more than that.
red tugs on a strand of her own hair and presses her knees to her chest, knowing she won't be able to find the words to explain how much it means to her or how hard it is for her to... believe. and why. instead she asks something else. )
I didn't know family could be people you find. I thought it had to be blood.
What would someone call an older sister then? ( even if she's probably technically maybe but not really older than fei ? well, she wasn't alive all that time. again with being complicated. )
[ Even though she started this, she's still bowled over by how sweet the question is. Fei saves her softer side for a very small group of people - possibly because when it comes out, she's never quite sure what to do for very long.
At least, unlike her husband, Red stands zero chance of getting socked in the chest because Fei's suddenly become overwhelmed with the feels and panics. Finding sisters she understands, thanks to Wu ChuChu and Li Yan. ]
I think anyone you help and who helps you can be family. Jiejie. But it is okay for you to call me A'Fei.
( That is such a straightforward way of thinking about it, and she shouldn't be surprised at all Fei would see it in that way - simple and straightforward and beautiful like she is. It's hard to wrap her head around still, and so she appreciates the alternative at least until she can-
She can really get it through her head. That there's no expectations there. ) I'll keep that in mind - both of those things.
Thank you, Fei, for saying that about me and for taking a chance on me, and stuff, and thank you for the questions. They made me smile.
( Well, Red knows one hundred percent that THAT is not true.
She is not good. Let alone 'very good'.
She's like neutral.
Neutral with teeth. Neutral and will follow anyone who leads her.
So y'know what? She'll just cover her face with a pillow and talk to Fei the next time they do lessons. Yes. That seems a valid reaction. To all of this.
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no subject
What did your family do?
1/2
2/2
I don't have one. But not for like sad reasons? ( or well, maybe it's sad, but she's not an orphan like the kids they stayed with were )
I guess I should have just said that I'm complicated.
no subject
You don't not have one, meimei.
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she was a guard. she was hades'. she was the intimidating weird whatever-the-fuck she is. she still doesn't know what she is.
she thinks if she'd stayed with the friends she'd made in the end. maybe she would have eventually known what it was like with them - to have a kind of friend thing- a family thing? she's not related to them. not related to anyone, not related to fei, but she still says those words like family can be more than that.
red tugs on a strand of her own hair and presses her knees to her chest, knowing she won't be able to find the words to explain how much it means to her or how hard it is for her to... believe. and why. instead she asks something else. )
Meimei?
no subject
On the road I found family. Well. My cousin Li Yan found boyfriends, I found comrades.
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What would someone call an older sister then? ( even if she's probably technically maybe but not really older than fei ? well, she wasn't alive all that time. again with being complicated. )
no subject
At least, unlike her husband, Red stands zero chance of getting socked in the chest because Fei's suddenly become overwhelmed with the feels and panics. Finding sisters she understands, thanks to Wu ChuChu and Li Yan. ]
I think anyone you help and who helps you can be family. Jiejie. But it is okay for you to call me A'Fei.
no subject
She can really get it through her head. That there's no expectations there. ) I'll keep that in mind - both of those things.
Thank you, Fei, for saying that about me and for taking a chance on me, and stuff, and thank you for the questions. They made me smile.
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You are very good.
[ She's not the best with gentle compliments, but damn if she doesn't mean every word she says. ]
no subject
She is not good. Let alone 'very good'.
She's like neutral.
Neutral with teeth. Neutral and will follow anyone who leads her.
So y'know what? She'll just cover her face with a pillow and talk to Fei the next time they do lessons. Yes. That seems a valid reaction. To all of this.
Bye. )