[ A pause, then, with as much mildness as he can muster: ]
My mother was their prisoner, trapped in an arcane prison. They tried to purify her youngest hatched children first, then moved on to eggs.
Dragons are aware long before they hatch. They can hear everything going on around their shells. Thus, I could hear everything that was discussed -- and their failed experiments. It did not endear me to them.
( Red is asking a lot of questions, and she doesn't know that any of it helps though she does appreciate that he is sharing all of this with her. No one else in their group can possibly know what it's like to be an experiment, to be made for such a purpose, but she sure as fuck doesn't know what it's like to have gone through what he did. She does not have a mother or father or anything of the sort, but the thought of having one to hear and know and- and be trapped. )
Must have been like being in a cage then.
What- ( Did you kill them, she wants to ask but doesn't. ) Did they pay? ( for what they did. )
[ Wrathion's expression dims, a barely perceptible shake of his head. No, his mother is long dead. But as to the others: ]
Some of them died trying to recapture me, once I escaped.
[ Rheastrasza herself lost her life being pursued by Deathwing, he heard. His feelings about that are... something he cannot quite describe. Complex emotions are difficult. ]
I'm sure they would tell me what they did was for some... greater good, that it was the only way they knew to help us survive. I believed that, for a time, because if that wasn't true it was just suffering. But people who care for you do not cage you, do not treat you like a creature to be tamed and studied. Guard yourself well. Trust your instincts.
( Red's expression grows quiet, serious as he explains, and she settles with the answers. They're not easy ones. They're painful ones. Shit is always fucking painful, but she appreciates the truths he gives. It can't be easy to share something so raw and so painful.
Her hand slips back into her hair against the back of her neck. She stares at her own two feet. )
Even my instincts were made for me.
( She frowns, wondering how to - but he's already said so much. Her fingertips dig into her neck. )
You're right. They did not care about you, and they should have. ( There's a huff of a protective breath. ) My- Hades was the god of the Underworld, and he made me. He made me to guard it, and then another version of the Underworld was created for teenagers and he made this specific version of me to guard it. More human than he wanted me to be.
Some people may believe you will never have a place outside that purpose, that you will never belong. They might call you foolish for hoping for anything else.
[ A pause. ]
But if a place does not exist for you, then you can make it. You can build it around yourself. For now, know that your secret is safe with me.
( Red quiets when he puts it the way that he does. He's not the first person she's told about it all. There have been hopeful statements. There have been ones of caring. There have been ones of anger for what she was put through, and she appreciates them all. She thinks what he says has a different kind of meaning, because he understands in a way few other people can (in a way she wouldn't want others to understand - being made for a purpose, being wielded, being trapped).
It's the first time anyone has ever told her she could build her own place where she might belong. And she's not entirely sure what to do with that reality, but it feels real. )
Thank you. Truly.
( She plays with the fray of her sleeve. ) Is that what you ended up doing? Building your own place to belong?
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no subject
[ A pause, then, with as much mildness as he can muster: ]
My mother was their prisoner, trapped in an arcane prison. They tried to purify her youngest hatched children first, then moved on to eggs.
Dragons are aware long before they hatch. They can hear everything going on around their shells. Thus, I could hear everything that was discussed -- and their failed experiments. It did not endear me to them.
no subject
Was she... okay? Your mother? Sorry.
( Red is asking a lot of questions, and she doesn't know that any of it helps though she does appreciate that he is sharing all of this with her. No one else in their group can possibly know what it's like to be an experiment, to be made for such a purpose, but she sure as fuck doesn't know what it's like to have gone through what he did. She does not have a mother or father or anything of the sort, but the thought of having one to hear and know and- and be trapped. )
Must have been like being in a cage then.
What- ( Did you kill them, she wants to ask but doesn't. ) Did they pay? ( for what they did. )
no subject
Some of them died trying to recapture me, once I escaped.
[ Rheastrasza herself lost her life being pursued by Deathwing, he heard. His feelings about that are... something he cannot quite describe. Complex emotions are difficult. ]
I'm sure they would tell me what they did was for some... greater good, that it was the only way they knew to help us survive. I believed that, for a time, because if that wasn't true it was just suffering. But people who care for you do not cage you, do not treat you like a creature to be tamed and studied. Guard yourself well. Trust your instincts.
no subject
Her hand slips back into her hair against the back of her neck. She stares at her own two feet. )
Even my instincts were made for me.
( She frowns, wondering how to - but he's already said so much. Her fingertips dig into her neck. )
You're right. They did not care about you, and they should have. ( There's a huff of a protective breath. ) My- Hades was the god of the Underworld, and he made me. He made me to guard it, and then another version of the Underworld was created for teenagers and he made this specific version of me to guard it. More human than he wanted me to be.
no subject
Some people may believe you will never have a place outside that purpose, that you will never belong. They might call you foolish for hoping for anything else.
[ A pause. ]
But if a place does not exist for you, then you can make it. You can build it around yourself. For now, know that your secret is safe with me.
no subject
It's the first time anyone has ever told her she could build her own place where she might belong. And she's not entirely sure what to do with that reality, but it feels real. )
Thank you. Truly.
( She plays with the fray of her sleeve. ) Is that what you ended up doing? Building your own place to belong?
no subject
He's not, strictly, sure he's succeeded yet. All the same: ]
I consider that a work in progress.
[ These things are never as quick or clean as you'd like. ]
no subject
( It's not like the afterlife where everything has its place, where there are specific rules. It's all complicated to navigate. )
But uh, ...thank you. Again. But now for the talk and honesty and stuff.
( And. Yeah. She's really good at socializing and not awkward at all, but she does appreciate it and wants to express that. )
no subject
Of course. If you need anything else, my time is yours. You know how to contact me.