( He says it so simply - I cannot abide to be controlled like it is so simple, like it could be so easy. Emotion lodges in her throat. )
Yeah, some know about me too.
( Her hand slides behind her neck, wondering if she should say. Maybe she should swallow it up like the shame it is. But not many people in their group even know what it's like - for others to try to control them, for others to capture and keep them, to use their power for themselves. She wouldn't wish that knowing on anyone, but he does appear to... know, to understand on some level. )
...I was made to be controlled so. I guess you could say this is all new to me.
[ Wrathion's smile has an edge now, some boiling dark anger barely suppressed. ]
I was to be born a prisoner, yet here I am. Our destinies are our own. I've long learned it is best to never let your guard down, but there are some that can be trusted. Hold onto them. Trust is a difficult process, but it is valuable.
( Red quiets, hearing what he says, trying to remember that - her own thoughts and feelings betray her at time, but she's aware that's because she was made to. She was made to want to be controlled, and she has to consistently be aware of that and fight it and-
She swallows thick past the sharp feeling in her throat. )
...you were born to be a prisoner? What-
( It's further proof they relate when no one else can. How could they? Most people are- they're just born, but not for any specific purpose. ) Was a god involved with you too?
[ He folds his arms, the fingers of one hand curling slowly as he thinks. The nails dig into his palm, enough to help him find restraint. Keep his tone neutral. ]
The Titans uplifted us, gave us our strength and purpose, but they were not... present. They left us to handle things, including the consequences of their actions. Years before, when Azeroth was young, the Titans fought a war with the Old Gods. Creatures of the Void, corruptors who only know destruction. They could never truly be killed, but they did their best. One particular Old God, N'Zoth, was trapped in a prison deep under ground. My flight were known as the Earth Warders, Protectors, and we have an affinity with the deep places of the earth. My predecessors could hear N'Zoth whispering. Promises, truths, lies. Visions of a dark future. Claims that only they could stop it. One by one, they all fell to madness and began to spread havoc. Naturally, this... caused a degree of infighting. The other flights went to war with mine, but... one decided to try something different. To experiment, see if we could be... purified of N'Zoth's influence.
( Red quiets, sensing the seriousness of what he is sharing - that he may not share this very often at all, which means it's important, sacred in a sense. Some part of someone that's vulnerable. Her own arms fold loosely across her chest as she rests her back against the nearest wall to where she is, closing her eyes, shaking her head.
Experiment.
It's not a word she ever thought to describe herself, but it is oddly fitting now that it's out there - Hades would want to toss away this particular version of her, but wouldn't he just make another? One with more Cerberus and less... human soul to it.
But his own- his own experience was from another dragon? Is that what he means? Fuck.
She swallows, unable to keep the harshness from her voice when she speaks - it's born more of from some small semblance of understanding than anything else. )
[ A pause, then, with as much mildness as he can muster: ]
My mother was their prisoner, trapped in an arcane prison. They tried to purify her youngest hatched children first, then moved on to eggs.
Dragons are aware long before they hatch. They can hear everything going on around their shells. Thus, I could hear everything that was discussed -- and their failed experiments. It did not endear me to them.
( Red is asking a lot of questions, and she doesn't know that any of it helps though she does appreciate that he is sharing all of this with her. No one else in their group can possibly know what it's like to be an experiment, to be made for such a purpose, but she sure as fuck doesn't know what it's like to have gone through what he did. She does not have a mother or father or anything of the sort, but the thought of having one to hear and know and- and be trapped. )
Must have been like being in a cage then.
What- ( Did you kill them, she wants to ask but doesn't. ) Did they pay? ( for what they did. )
[ Wrathion's expression dims, a barely perceptible shake of his head. No, his mother is long dead. But as to the others: ]
Some of them died trying to recapture me, once I escaped.
[ Rheastrasza herself lost her life being pursued by Deathwing, he heard. His feelings about that are... something he cannot quite describe. Complex emotions are difficult. ]
I'm sure they would tell me what they did was for some... greater good, that it was the only way they knew to help us survive. I believed that, for a time, because if that wasn't true it was just suffering. But people who care for you do not cage you, do not treat you like a creature to be tamed and studied. Guard yourself well. Trust your instincts.
( Red's expression grows quiet, serious as he explains, and she settles with the answers. They're not easy ones. They're painful ones. Shit is always fucking painful, but she appreciates the truths he gives. It can't be easy to share something so raw and so painful.
Her hand slips back into her hair against the back of her neck. She stares at her own two feet. )
Even my instincts were made for me.
( She frowns, wondering how to - but he's already said so much. Her fingertips dig into her neck. )
You're right. They did not care about you, and they should have. ( There's a huff of a protective breath. ) My- Hades was the god of the Underworld, and he made me. He made me to guard it, and then another version of the Underworld was created for teenagers and he made this specific version of me to guard it. More human than he wanted me to be.
Some people may believe you will never have a place outside that purpose, that you will never belong. They might call you foolish for hoping for anything else.
[ A pause. ]
But if a place does not exist for you, then you can make it. You can build it around yourself. For now, know that your secret is safe with me.
( Red quiets when he puts it the way that he does. He's not the first person she's told about it all. There have been hopeful statements. There have been ones of caring. There have been ones of anger for what she was put through, and she appreciates them all. She thinks what he says has a different kind of meaning, because he understands in a way few other people can (in a way she wouldn't want others to understand - being made for a purpose, being wielded, being trapped).
It's the first time anyone has ever told her she could build her own place where she might belong. And she's not entirely sure what to do with that reality, but it feels real. )
Thank you. Truly.
( She plays with the fray of her sleeve. ) Is that what you ended up doing? Building your own place to belong?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Yeah, some know about me too.
( Her hand slides behind her neck, wondering if she should say. Maybe she should swallow it up like the shame it is. But not many people in their group even know what it's like - for others to try to control them, for others to capture and keep them, to use their power for themselves. She wouldn't wish that knowing on anyone, but he does appear to... know, to understand on some level. )
...I was made to be controlled so. I guess you could say this is all new to me.
no subject
I was to be born a prisoner, yet here I am. Our destinies are our own. I've long learned it is best to never let your guard down, but there are some that can be trusted. Hold onto them. Trust is a difficult process, but it is valuable.
no subject
She swallows thick past the sharp feeling in her throat. )
...you were born to be a prisoner? What-
( It's further proof they relate when no one else can. How could they? Most people are- they're just born, but not for any specific purpose. ) Was a god involved with you too?
no subject
[ He folds his arms, the fingers of one hand curling slowly as he thinks. The nails dig into his palm, enough to help him find restraint. Keep his tone neutral. ]
The Titans uplifted us, gave us our strength and purpose, but they were not... present. They left us to handle things, including the consequences of their actions. Years before, when Azeroth was young, the Titans fought a war with the Old Gods. Creatures of the Void, corruptors who only know destruction. They could never truly be killed, but they did their best. One particular Old God, N'Zoth, was trapped in a prison deep under ground. My flight were known as the Earth Warders, Protectors, and we have an affinity with the deep places of the earth. My predecessors could hear N'Zoth whispering. Promises, truths, lies. Visions of a dark future. Claims that only they could stop it. One by one, they all fell to madness and began to spread havoc. Naturally, this... caused a degree of infighting. The other flights went to war with mine, but... one decided to try something different. To experiment, see if we could be... purified of N'Zoth's influence.
no subject
Experiment.
It's not a word she ever thought to describe herself, but it is oddly fitting now that it's out there - Hades would want to toss away this particular version of her, but wouldn't he just make another? One with more Cerberus and less... human soul to it.
But his own- his own experience was from another dragon? Is that what he means? Fuck.
She swallows, unable to keep the harshness from her voice when she speaks - it's born more of from some small semblance of understanding than anything else. )
...and that... experiment resulted in you?
no subject
[ A pause, then, with as much mildness as he can muster: ]
My mother was their prisoner, trapped in an arcane prison. They tried to purify her youngest hatched children first, then moved on to eggs.
Dragons are aware long before they hatch. They can hear everything going on around their shells. Thus, I could hear everything that was discussed -- and their failed experiments. It did not endear me to them.
no subject
Was she... okay? Your mother? Sorry.
( Red is asking a lot of questions, and she doesn't know that any of it helps though she does appreciate that he is sharing all of this with her. No one else in their group can possibly know what it's like to be an experiment, to be made for such a purpose, but she sure as fuck doesn't know what it's like to have gone through what he did. She does not have a mother or father or anything of the sort, but the thought of having one to hear and know and- and be trapped. )
Must have been like being in a cage then.
What- ( Did you kill them, she wants to ask but doesn't. ) Did they pay? ( for what they did. )
no subject
Some of them died trying to recapture me, once I escaped.
[ Rheastrasza herself lost her life being pursued by Deathwing, he heard. His feelings about that are... something he cannot quite describe. Complex emotions are difficult. ]
I'm sure they would tell me what they did was for some... greater good, that it was the only way they knew to help us survive. I believed that, for a time, because if that wasn't true it was just suffering. But people who care for you do not cage you, do not treat you like a creature to be tamed and studied. Guard yourself well. Trust your instincts.
no subject
Her hand slips back into her hair against the back of her neck. She stares at her own two feet. )
Even my instincts were made for me.
( She frowns, wondering how to - but he's already said so much. Her fingertips dig into her neck. )
You're right. They did not care about you, and they should have. ( There's a huff of a protective breath. ) My- Hades was the god of the Underworld, and he made me. He made me to guard it, and then another version of the Underworld was created for teenagers and he made this specific version of me to guard it. More human than he wanted me to be.
no subject
Some people may believe you will never have a place outside that purpose, that you will never belong. They might call you foolish for hoping for anything else.
[ A pause. ]
But if a place does not exist for you, then you can make it. You can build it around yourself. For now, know that your secret is safe with me.
no subject
It's the first time anyone has ever told her she could build her own place where she might belong. And she's not entirely sure what to do with that reality, but it feels real. )
Thank you. Truly.
( She plays with the fray of her sleeve. ) Is that what you ended up doing? Building your own place to belong?
no subject
He's not, strictly, sure he's succeeded yet. All the same: ]
I consider that a work in progress.
[ These things are never as quick or clean as you'd like. ]
no subject
( It's not like the afterlife where everything has its place, where there are specific rules. It's all complicated to navigate. )
But uh, ...thank you. Again. But now for the talk and honesty and stuff.
( And. Yeah. She's really good at socializing and not awkward at all, but she does appreciate it and wants to express that. )
no subject
Of course. If you need anything else, my time is yours. You know how to contact me.